Connect...shoooweee. When your a follower of Jesus, let me tell you what I have come to understand...connecting is a very vital part of your life. Connecting with the Lord, connecting with the church, connecting with the people of the church. I attend an amazing church and we have Tuesday night connect groups. I have attended here and there and every time I go I get filled with holy spirit, for me that is such a confirmation that God is moving and I need to attend! However things always come up and more often than not - I land up not attending. Its funny I know my heart is screaming to jump into it all with arms open but yet something always holds me back. Tonight I can tell you that I know the only one holding me back - is myself.
The Lord HAS a plan for MY life. Yes, he knows every hair on my head - he knew me before I was created...the only thing stopping His plan from unveiling in my life is....me.
And you know what, thats ok. I mean its not okay that I keep booby trapping myself - but its okay, I get it. Jesus died on the cross 2000 years ago to set me free...He has done the hardest part of it all...now all I need to do is set myself free, free of the bondage that I keep wrapping myself up in.
I stray too often to let God's plan take action, I am walking around in circles because I am not being obedient to God. I know when I do what I want to do - it always lands up biting me in the butt and then I land up turning to the Lord for direction.
SO. What am I going to strive to do. Well let me explain this image I had whilst praying the other night. I actually saw myself deflate...not in a weird way, the Lord was holding me and I made the choice to deflate myself and let God blow me up again. I then allowed Him to carry me and I could see in this image, that I was comfortable with it, I was relaxed lying in His arms - completely trusting Him in which ever way He was taking me. I just wanted Him to fill me and carry me.
I have had a pretty tough couple of months, I felt like I completely lost myself in all the mumbo jumbo going on around me. I have realised this, that through these moments in my life, "the joy of the Lord is my strength"...not my strength, I have no real strength on my own...my strength comes from the joy of the Lord.
I read this verse this morning and it has been in my head the whole day, while I was sitting at connect tonight it was running through my mind over and over,
Luke 11:14 "Those who make themselves great will be humbled. Those who are humble will be made great."
Good night and Godbless xxx
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